Pretty Man

I hopped online this morning and checked my dating inbox for the first time in a few days. I had the flu on Monday and Tuesday, and the last thing you're thinking about while you lay in bed with a two-liter of ginger ale at your side and a roll of toilet paper in your hand, is going on a hot date. Anyway, I found a handful of messages. Delete, delete, delete, ooh he's cute.

So I open an email from a tall blonde who apparently is in sales, has a cute smile, and apparently isn't afraid to wear pink. Nice. Below one of his photos he has the quote, "Don't forget I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her," from Notting Hill. So he's funny. Me likey.

I reply to his message and look forward to hearing back from Julia Roberts.

Once back in my inbox, I see I have two messages from a 26-year-old architect. I'd responded to an email from him over the weekend, but didn't really think much of it. Apparently he did, because instead of just replying once, he was on repeat mode. So email one asks how my weekend was. Fine. Email two, sent 5 hours later than email one, asks how I'm doing and if I'd like to meet him at the driving range on Thursday to hit some balls in the snow. I like the idea but not the aggressive approach.

I don't reply, delete both messages and decide that I'd like to get back into golfing.

Last but not least, there's an email from a bearded man who is tilting his head in his photo and making bug eyes and looks like a total maniac. But I click on his profile anyway and his photo caption says something about how his beard is always crazy but always clean. Gross. That's just so gross!

I delete a few other emails and sign off. A job well done.

Hopefully it pays off. In an email. From Julia Roberts.

Someone's going to read this and be so confused.