Daters Anonymous

For our first official post of DA, we have this little episode from "Hairy Larry." Yeah.

Take it away, Larry...

"In high school, I once took a girl out who's father was head of the state's FBI office. With this in mind, I was on my best behavior when I picked her up and met her father. His handshake was strong as a vice, and his eyes said that I could be killed with a single phone call. I promised to have his daughter home by 11 p.m. and got the hell out.

I was the perfect gentleman, took her out for dinner and a movie, and rolled into her driveway at 10:30pm, a full half hour ahead of schedule. My mind was working through dropoff maneuvers -- hug, kiss, or just "good night" -- when I noticed a large figure standing on the front porch in the dark. Her father. Like a statue. He didn't wave or move or anything. Just watched us in the car. Thirty minutes before we were due home. Had he been standing there since we'd left? Did he have a gun?

This was way too creepy for me. No walk to the door, no good night kiss, no second date. I said goodbye and squealed my tires out of the driveway. I don't think her dad moved an inch the entire time."