Kidnapper's Delight

Most of the guys I’ve met, online and in life, usually propose a public meeting place for the first date. Occasionally a guy has offered to pick me up, which I always politely decline, but the majority understand that I’m not about to get in a stranger’s automobile and drive to his torture chamber in the woods.

Growing up I was always waiting to be kidnapped. I just knew it was coming. With all the after-school specials about missing children and every adult within earshot telling me I should never talk to strangers who offered me candy, it’s no wonder I was a paranoid mess. And it didn’t help that my father told me, during the Reebok craze, that all bad guys wore black tennis shoes. Not picking up on his sarcasm, I found myself paralyzed whenever a pair of black sneakers came on my radar, until I was about 17.

Anyway, I’m not about to make that premonition come true. Which is why I’m always a little turned off when a guy is dumb enough to suggest any first date idea that involves being alone in his car for any unspecified amount of time.

So I was a little disappointed when a cute filmmaker I met a few weeks back called today to ask if I wanted to go see the Black Keys concert next Wednesday. In Milwaukee.

“It’s only an hour away,” he said.

That's 60 minutes of me, staring out the window, nervously making small talk while casually scanning the backseat for rope and and a pair of pliers. And making sure we don't take any sudden detours down unmarked dirt roads. Plus, what if he sucks? Then I’m stuck in WISCONSIN with this bonehead for an entire evening.

I told him I wasn’t available that evening (I’m really not) but that I’d call him after the weekend to set up a meet and greet. But IDK. Call me crazy, but I don’t really want someone with their head up their ass.

Besides, I’m meeting a cute 31-year-old consultant that night, for drinks and head board games. And after talking to him on the phone the other night, I'm quite looking forward to it. He has a great sense of humor. And I like that's he's a few years older. 

Game on.