Batter Up!

There couldn't be a better time of year to be on the dating scene. The temperature is rising, the sun is finally coming out of hibernation, and that familiar, warm summer wind is seeping through the city streets, luring all the single people out of their sky caves to the beer gardens, beaches and bike paths. It's ON!

So what better way to get things poppin’ then to step back up to the dating plate. Let me get you up to speed on what’s happened in my love life in the past few weeks:…………nothing. While some of you thought I was busy seeing someone, I in fact was busy seeing something. Something called Operation New Job. I was like the Bond of the job boards and kids, I’m pleased to say, mission: accomplished.

And with this wonderful turn of events has come a wonderful turn of the seasons, and I’ve hit the dating ground running. And although April showers have come and gone, in my world it’s apparently raining men. Well, maybe it’s more like sprinkling men. Whatever. There’s precipitation.

First we have a gentleman who lives in the city and is an engineer. More like enginerd! Jk. He’s tall with glasses and has a sarcastic sense of humor (hey now!) and I have agreed to hang out sometime soon. He’s a friend of a friend of a friend, so if he ends up being a total weirdo and I excuse myself to the restroom and flee through the window, I won’t have to worry about offending my friend. It’s always nice to have a mutual friend, because it’s like having a reference. An instant background check.

Anyway, Lex Luthor* asked me to drinks next week. I just hope he doesn’t show up with three phones, a Bluetooth and his iPad. And a pocket protector.

As for my elevator beau Heaven on Seven, sigh, I haven’t seen him in a few weeks. Alas, I fear our hero has perhaps moved on to newer high rises and roomier elevators. But apparently my building has no shortage of cute men, because I got on last night to find two tall drinks of water speaking to each other in French. FRENCH GUYS!!! Then I heard one say, “basketball.” MANLY FRENCH GUYS!!! That’s like the holy grail.

Five minutes after our rendezvous (although it was really more like me trying to interpret what they were discussing), I got a text from a major blast from the past. Does the Traveling Salesman ring a bell? The man who thought our first date should involve beers and a hot tub.

I haven’t spoken to that man since last July, and he leads with, “What up?”

What up?? Who says that to someone they a.) hardly know, and b.) haven’t spoken to in almost a year?

What up is you looking for a booty call. Homey don’t play that. Delete.

There is another gentleman who I met via the world of Internet dating a few months ago, but he has been one state away finishing up his MBA program and will be moving here in a few weeks. So we’ve never met in person. I’m like one of those women who write to men in prison.

Anyway, after investigating his Facebook profile and partaking in several Gchats, I’ve found him seemingly adorable and intelligent. And totally cute. And he’s asked me to help decorate his apartment. So he’s a strong candidate.

But we’re still taking applications.

 *Nickname courtesy of my big bro who, conveniently, is a computer engineer and speaks fluent Nerd. Today’s lesson: Lex Luthor is the ultimate evil engineer and recently won Best Engineer in Comic Books of All Time.