All the Single Ladies

Now that I've met some cute guys, and have some upcoming dates set up, a thought dawns on me. What do the other females seeking single men in my area look like? It's time to look at the competition. I sign on and run a search.

Well, let's see. There seem to be 3 categories for applicant photos:
1. The Girl Next Door: Standing in front of a fountain, wall of roses, or some other neutral setting, smiling and looking innocent enough. Don't be fooled- it's usually the quiet ones that are the craziest. Like the girl in your office who only wears pale shades of pink and grey, and walks around with her stringy hair in her face; 4 glasses of chardonnay in at the holiday party and she's in the corner making out with Bill, the guy who's been there since before she was born and smells like dirty laundry.

2. The Dude Make it a Double: I like to kick my shoes off and have a good time as much as the next girl, but I don't need to let the world know how wicked awesome I am with photos of me clutching a Bud Heavy and making a kissy face - you know who you are.

3. The Hawaiian Tropic Reject: I don't care if you have a six-pack and a chest to rival Pamela Anderson's, if you put up photos in bikinis and low-cut shirts, you're attracting The Flexer. Which is probably your type. In that case you'll spend many happy weekends cruising town in his Camaro. T-top baby.