Thanks for Playing!

Unless a guy grabs my shoulders and says, "I like you," I'm pretty clueless about how he feels about me. Obviously over time I clue in, but on that first date, I have no chance. I'm just really bad at picking up on signs.

For example, one time in 9th grade I was waiting in line for Millenium Force at Cedar Point with my friend and two brothers, and this incredibly hot guy was standing in front of us. My friend and I were staring him down the entire time, trying to catch his eye. (We would prowl the park trying to find cute boys to ride the rollercoasters.) Anyway, we're making it very obvious we think he's cute, and after an hour in line, we get to the front, and he turns to our group, and I think, This is it. I knew he couldn't resist my Abercrombie cargo short-shorts and baby blue tank top. He steps directly in front of me, faces my older brother and says, "So are you guys brothers?"

I got the hint. Whitesnake didn't. One can usually tell after the first date what's to come of the relationship because you either are asked out again or not. And for guys, it's clear based on whether or not she accepts. But apparently Whitesnake scoffs at that practice, because since I canceled our jam session, he has texted and called about 6 times. I returned one call, but luckily he didn't answer, my sanity came back from its lunch break and I haven't replied since.

Yesterday he texted, "Hola - still interested in getting together?" Wow, hola? Whitesnake you animal! That's the most personality he's shown since we've met. It's a good thing he's cute.

I implemented the straight fade, and didn't reply.

Take a Bow

Well I had to give Whitesnake the ol' heave-ho. Something about the constant pushing for a private guitar lesson in my one-woman apartment just felt odd. I don't care if you're Eddie Vedder, I don't need you in my home on the second date to teach me guitar.

And let's not forget, I am a lady. I'm not so desperate and lonely that I need you to come over at 9 p.m. on  a Friday night to...make beautiful music together. So after he replied to my text asking if we could skip the jam session and go out somewhere with, "Why? You don't want me in your apt?" I decided Whitesnake had played his last song. I know it's lame, but I don't owe him anything at this point, so I texted back saying I was tired and working late (half true) and was going to stay in that night.

Plus I was spot on about him being....simple. Not a lot going on upstairs. Well, other than the need to meet girls on the Internet and use guitar playing as a metaphor for infiltrating bedrooms.

In other news, I have two new gentlemen I'm very excited about meeting. One said he loved Hot Tub Time Machine, which I don't care what you say, I've been dying to see. Maybe we're soul mates.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

I have plans to hang out with Whitesnake tonight. I was excited until he suggested he come to my place and teach me guitar. Instead of playing it cool and telling Keith Richards I was completely uncomfortable with him coming to my home when we've only hung out once, I panicked and said okay.

But I don't want him to come over. It's just too early in the game. And I'm not sure what his angle is with this, but I'm pretty sure "guitar lesson" is code for "make-out session." Homey don't play that.

To be honest, I had a really good time with him last week, but I don't know if he's my style. He's kind of quiet, and I'm starting to think he's not shy but....simple. Not that I'm looking for Doogie Howser (which is good because he was 16), but I like someone who can make me laugh and is witty and outgoing. And Whitesnake spelled banana wrong.

I just texted him saying I'd like to take a raincheck on the lesson and suggested we go out and do something else. We'll see how this plays out.

Round Two

After that first date, the second one was like a warm fuzzy. Whitesnake was cuter than his picture with a really nice smile. And dimples you just want to squeeeeeze.

We met for some drinks, and thanks to that martini I was cool as a cucumber (at least in my head I was). We chatted about our jobs, school, family, pretty much everything my previous date skipped over to get right into his baggage. So it was a breath of fresh air to have a normal date.

So we've got sweet, polite, and cute. Which is great. However, there were some cons. First off, we'll need a clothing intervention. He'd look great in a pair of jeans that weren't from Oshkosh B'Gosh, a Polo and some leather shoes.

And he's really shy. Which means he's withholding from me. And now I have to know more because I'm incredibly nosy (ask my little brother).

So I guess it's a good thing he suggested hanging out on Sunday. Let the investigation begin.

In the meantime, I'm really excited about my date with Dr. Zhicago tomorrow. We talked on Thursday night, and that boy's accent could melt butter. I hope he's as charming in person.

Two Men and a Lady

Alright, so tomorrow night I double-booked my dates. And I can't cancel on either because I already did before and promised I wouldn't again. So basically it's going to be like an episode of The Bachelor when he goes out with two different women and is judging and comparing them the entire time. Except we'll be in a restaurant, not making out in some skeazy hot tub with pervy, overweight cameramen filming our every move. Although.....(just kidding).

First on the agenda is a cute 30-year-old from Michigan who works for a trading firm downtown and might be a heavy breather. On deck we have Whitesnake. Remember, we like what we've learned so far about Whitesnake, so here's hoping he didn't send me a photo from before the weight gain and the "surgery."

I'm meeting both for cocktails, and cannot spend more than 1 hour at the martini bar if I'm going to make it to the restaurant to meet Whitesnake on time. That's enough time for a few jokes, some real/fake laughs and one cucumber martini.

I can only hope this night doesn't turn out like a J.Lo movie, where I like both guys, one finds out about the other, and hilarity ensues.

So, I'll keep my phone in my purse, won't answer calls from either guy on either date, limit my first date to 60 minutes, eat dinner in between so I don't show up to meet Whitesnake looking like Lindsay Lohan. Am I forgetting anything?

Here's to double booking! I'm like a fat kid in a cupcake shop. I can't have just one.

Rain Delay

Well, I've decided to reschedule my two dates for this week, because I'm sorry to say, I've got a wicked cold. And before you bend your fingers into a W, do me a favor: squeeze your nose together with a clothespin, rub your outer nostrils with the coarsest of sandpaper, and then tell me if you still feel like a sexy beast.

The defense rests.

Therefore, I've moved drinks with Dr. Zhicago and ice cream with Whitesnake to next Thursday and Friday, respectively. However, I have enjoyed my first few phone convos with Whitesnake. But now I worry that since we actually get along and he's not an over-sharer and seems to have a cute personality, I'm going to turn the corner and instead of finding Christian Slater a la Bed of Roses, it'll be Steve Buscemi a la....anything.

I need more cold meds.

Call on Me

I'm pleased to tell you that Whitesnake has asked for my phone number. Which, yes, is exciting. Of course I like to speak to guys before I meet them in person to learn a little bit more about them and make sure they don't sound like Mickey Mouse. But there's something scary about that first phone call. It's like, hey, I know what you look like and have emailed with you for a few days now, and have a small schoolgirl crush on you, but now we're really interacting. I can't hide behind my big, safe computer monitor.

I guess if it goes really bad I can just hang up on him. Like the time I called the man of my 5th-grade-dreams and talked to him for 20 minutes but refused to tell him who I was, and when he had it narrowed down to me or this brace-face in my grade, I said, "I'll never tell!" and hung up. 5 seconds later he called back and I answered (pre-caller ID) and he said, "I knew it was you!" so I gracefully hung up the phone and never spoke to him again.

Hopefully it goes a little better than that.

On Your Marks...

Out of the group of gentlemen I've been conversing with, I'd say there are definitely two who interest me a little more than the rest. If this were a race (and the prize is my heart, awww) then they'd be tied for first place.

In Lane 1, we have a handsome 28-year-old, 6'0" college grad who lives in the 'burbs. According to his profile, he's a "nice guy but not too nice." Be still my heart. He plays guitar, likes going out with friends and monster ballads. Um Is This Love is an awesome ballad so we'll call him Whitesnake.

In Lane 2 is a 26-year-old Michigan native with brown hair and a cute smile. He enjoys music, reading, sports, travel and family. And volunteering. Bonus points. A philanthropist with schoolboy charm who works for an airline? He's Captain America.

So based on all of these qualities, and the messages I've exchanged with each fellow, I'm happy to say they're both meet-worthy. And Whitesnake just proposed drinks, so we'll see what happens. There's also a Canadian med student who wants to grab drinks, and a Tennessee-born salesman who does as well.

I see many drinks in my near future.