Can't Hardly Breathe

I've been slacking a little lately, because let's face it, I went on 5 first dates in less than 2 weeks, and I'm just exhausted. I'm out of breath! I can't be my pleasant, charming self every single night of the week to a new male suitor. So I'm ceasing the love binge and, moving forward, I'll only allow myself a few chips rather than the whole bag. I'm on a dating diet.

Plus I've met some real Gary Buseys, so I'm trying to be a little pickier about who I go out with. Not that I don't enjoy meeting a crazy guy every now and then. I love crazy people. They're the spice of life. And it is interesting to meet many different types of guys. I just don't want to be doing so 8 days a week.

If I'm not a little more selective I'll end up dating guys like Kojak, the 29-year-old cop I met for martinis 4 years ago. He showed up 15 minutes late and proceeded to drink five martinis, all while telling me about how he'd gotten so drunk that previous weekend at a friend's picnic that he'd driven home and completely forgotten his dog at the party. Then he offered to drive me home. Had he been cuter (and sober), I would've tilted my head to the side, clasped my hands together and said, "Why yes Officer." But of course he was creepy (and drunk) so I passed.

A week later he invited me to a cage-fighting match. I never called back. And I didn't jaywalk for a month.