Red Fish, Blue Fish

The wise Paula Abdul once sang, “I take two steps forward, I take two steps back. We come together ‘cause opposites attract.”

As a child, I not only blasted that song out of my silver Sony boom box at least 530 times, but I could be seen performing a dance number to it at many a local talent show. My best friend and I peddled our bit for a total of two school shows and one summer church festival. And I was always in shock and awe as to why our dance moves, including me taking two steps forward while she took two steps back, didn’t dazzle those a-hole judges.

We returned the next summer lip-syncing to Leader of the Pack, and when the motorcycle roared on the track, our secret weapon came out: my cherub-cheeked 5-year-old little brother on his Little Tikes motorcycle. Still didn’t win, even with that crowd pleaser. Jerks.

Anyway, back to opposites attracting. Is this true? Can it work? I’d imagine certain personalities just mesh well, but how below the surface can your oppositions run before things just combust?

For example, Marky Mark confessed to me the other evening that he despises coffee, beer and sushi. I love coffee, beer and sushi. But I don’t think any of those are reasons not to give him a chance. Right?

It’s not like he said he hates babies, sunshine and the possibility of a higher power.

And if he ever did, then I'd gas up that Little Tikes motorcycle and ride off into the sunset.