Bird of Prey

So everybody’s favorite British bachelor and I decided to meet Saturday night for a good old-fashioned romp. Just kidding, we went to a movie. I walked into the theatre lobby, looked around and realized I was there before him. And it was in that moment that I realized I was nervous.

Considering we’d spoken several times in between our inaugural meeting and this one, I’d assumed I’d be loose as a goose. But once I was standing on the lobby's gaudy multi-color firework show of carpet, I realized my heart was beating a little faster.

I was staring up at a poster for that movie Megamind, which looks really funny if I may say so, when I heard a familiar voice mumble, “Right then – I thought about standing you up.” Awesome.

I looked up and Mister Darcy was standing in front of me wearing a cream sweater, dark jeans and a devilish grin.

So we headed up another escalator and into the theatre, and the feelings of nervousness and excitement hung in the air around me as thick as the smells of salt and butter from the concession stand.

Once we’d settled into our seats, we made more small talk. He’s a little quieter in person, but then again we hardly know each other. He wasn’t as nervous as he was on our first date. In fact from what I’ve learned so far about Mister D, he’s extremely confident but also has a sense of humor. Oh confidence, how I love thee.

Well the movie starts and the lights dim. This is when you start multi-tasking. Oh wow, Russell Crowe’s pretty hot, oh wow this plot is already thick, oh wow what’s going on in Darcy’s world?

I was still feeling a little nervous when I, possibly subconsciously, clasped my hands together in my lap.  It was at this very second I saw his hand heading toward my seat. And I just watched out of the corner of my eye as he realizes my hand is unavailable, swoops his down and casually slides it back to his lap. I felt kind of bad (not at all) that I was amused, but I wasn’t laughing at him, more at the fact that he’d shot a total air ball. Let's see how the Duke of Confidenceshire handles this one.

New handholding ETA: as soon as I unclasp my hands. We sat there in silence for a few minutes and then my phone started buzzing, which was a perfect opportunity to unclasp. And then,  I settled back into my seat with my hands just resting on my lap. I was dangling the bait.

Just like clockwork, Mister Darcy’s hand slides over onto my seat and coolly into my hand. And it was really kind of cute. Simple but sweet. Like instant brownies. I'm happy to say it was a creep-free, clam-free hold. 

After the movie we walked around downtown for a little while and settled on a small bar to grab a few drinks. At this point I was feeling a lot more comfortable and I could tell he was too. And he looked really cute in his beige parka. Thumbs up on the style--so far.

Over a few beers he taught me the rules of cricket, we talked about our families, and shared stories about dumb things we did in high school.

After three drinks I was tired and it was time to be a lady, curtsy and bid him adieu. Plus it was late. Since he bought our movie tickets, I offered to pay for the drinks but he scoffed at the idea. He said that he wouldn’t feel right letting me pay, he’s old fashioned and his father would be so disappointed if he found out he’d made a girl pay. Golf clap.

We walked outside and he hailed me a cab. And then he put his hands on my shoulders, paused and then went in for the kill. Right on the lips. Uh, yes sir may I have another? Then he told me I was a "cute bird."

I went home, fuzzy in the head from the buzz of the beer and the bliss of the boy.

He’s a dangerous bird.