The Rules of Attraction

Guys, if you're thinking about putting up a profile on any dating site, allow me to offer some advice, that apparently SOME PEOPLE never got:

1. Do not, under any circumstances, post a picture of you and your car. I don't care if you worked double shifts at the Dairy Queen for 2 years to buy it, you might as well tattoo COMPENSATING across your chest.
2. When writing your "About Me", resist the temptation to use internet acronyms that 14-year-old girls text their besties. You sound unsure when you follow up your "I love life and just want to live it to the fullest" with an LOL. Really?
3. I respect the self-photographer. There's not always someone around to snap a quick shot of you in your True Religion jeans and Affliction t-shirt. But, if you post a photo you took in front of the mirror in your bathroom, please remember to clean first. I don't need to see your moldy bathtub tiles, lack of a shower curtain, or the dirt-is-the-new-white hand towel dangling on the sink.

On the other hand, perhaps these guys are just doing me a favor.