Alright, I'm posing a question to the universe. You meet a guy online, email a few times, talk on the phone, have a few laughs. Then you meet in person, and it's a bust. It doesn't matter the reason - lack of physical attraction, terrible sense of humor, creepier than the 7/11 cashier who keeps asking me out when I go in to buy milk - you're just not interested.
Oh, but he is. And makes it crystal clear with the immediate follow-up texts thanking you for a fun time. Then, the next day he might text you with something he's clearly forcing to be an inside joke, "Just saw someone wearing my khakis- hope he's not drinking red wine!" Then comes the inevitable, "Dinner on Friday?"
Since I'm new to the online world of dating, I don't know if a separate set of rules exist. What's the proper way to say "thanks but no effing thanks" to a guy you're just not into?
Do you do the fade-out, just blocking them online, on your phone and from your life? Like you never existed? Or is it like ripping off a band-aid: quick and to the point?
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Exploring the disasters and delights of dating.
About the Dater
Single girl in the city weeds her way through smooth talkers, head cases, damaged goods and gigolos in her quest for Prince Charming.
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3 comments:
I'm quick & to the point. As soon as they contact me after that 1st date, I e-mail/text them back a version of "thanks for the XX. I wish you the best of luck in your search on lava."
But I haven't always done that--I learned to do that after feeling horrible after what I thought were successful 1st dates, when the guys would either ignore/block me online, or continue with e-mailing but never ask me out again--clearly they were immature fucksticks & it's good I didn't end up with one of them!
I'd say quick and to the point is the best way to do it. You wouldn't want someone to just ignore you so you shouldn't do it to them. I think just a quick "I think you seem nice, but I don't feel a spark. Good luck!" Maybe even mention that you're sure he will find someone great...Just so that his ego isn't completely bruised :)
I agree... you should just get to the point. "Thanks, but I don't see us as a match. I wish you all the luck and hope you find what you are looking for...."
-Laura
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