Counting the Dates

When hearing about my blog, a popular question is what will I do when I start seeing a guy on a more serious basis.

My first reaction is that Prince Charming will think it's funny that I did a blog, and see the entertainment value in it. And he'll be confident enough with himself that he'll be proud of me and will be able to laugh about it and we'll float away on our fluffy pink love cloud and everything will be perfect.

The reality is, he'll probably want to know if and what I wrote about him. And if his identity has been compromised, and if the entire world knows he's online dating, how he kisses and that I was turned off by his clammy hands on our second date.

Then I try to think about how I'd feel if some guy said he was blogging about his single excursions. As a writer and opportune voyeur, I'd be generally interested in what he had to say about his dates. But then I'd have to wonder how serious he was about finding a nice girl to come home to, call right when he hears good (or bad) news, and un-friend his ex on Facebook for.

As my older brother put it, "If someone had a one night stand with a guy, and the guy told them the next morning that he had a blog about one night stands, you'd assume he's sleeping around....and around."

I mean, when you're casually dating, you'd be naive to assume the guys you meet aren't going out with other girls. And they should be. That's the whole point of dating. You wouldn't go to a beer tasting and just stick with one micro brew.

But you don't want to hear that the person you're out with is seeing the entire third page of the online dating catalogue. Which makes me wonder....before the Internet, why didn't someone come out with a dating catalogue? You could sit in on snowy Tuesday evening with some red wine and your highlighter, browsing the profile pages like one would a J.Crew spring issue. And then you could call the 1-800 number and punch 4523 for Carl, slouch down in your couch causing your voice to sound a little sexier (seriously try it), and leave him a witty message with your digits.

Then again, I guess you could always call Livelinks.

So I guess my point is, when is it appropriate to tell a guy that I've been dating around, enjoying being single, and writing about it for all of my Internet family and friends to read? And when a guy does actually read this blog, how will he react? Especially if I've gushed over him. Or totally badmouthed my future husband.

It'll be like the time in 8th grade when my friend and I were home alone and my crush and his friend stopped by. Well my crush decided to sneak up to my bedroom and saw my corkboard, which had my dolphins calendar, two photos of him that my yearbook friend had given me - one of him playing football and the other was from a basketball game that he was in the stands for and didn't know he was being photographed - and a movie ticket from Romeo & Juliet that our whole class went to see, but I wrote on my ticket Sat next to Jeff.

He came downstairs and looked at my friend, while I was mindlessly jumping on the trampoline, and goes, "I didn't realize she liked me THAT much." Yeah. He never asked me out.

When I was out for pizza with Tiny Tim last week, I was getting bored, so for my own entertainment I told him I'm blogging about my online dating experiences. He sat up a little straighter and goes, "Really....." and uncomfortably laughed and just stared at me. And I just smiled, nodded and watched him squirm a little, as all the questions flooded his mind. What's the URL? What has she said about me? How many guys is this chick dating?

Finally he goes, "How much did you write about me?" and flashed a used car salesman grin. Gross.

At first I lied and said I didn't, but then he seemed disappointed so I said, "Well I might have written about when we got sushi......I don't know I really don't write anymore." I'm the worst liar.

Moving forward, I think it'll be my little secret unless I find a man who I think would appreciate that I've been able to do something I love (writing) about something I love (guys).

Until then, I'm going to keep dating along. And counting the number of doormen, CVS security guards and bus drivers have hit on me. And how many weirdos I've met for drinks. And number of first kisses I didn't sign up for. And amount of times a guy texts "lol" to me about something I didn't laugh out loud at. And the number of deep breaths I've taken before turning the corner to meet a cute stranger.

I'm going to need a calculator.